Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
