They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need a beard to bite.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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