ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
