I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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