Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
