Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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