Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
