we're blogging at a bar
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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