When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
