I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
