hotel room ftw
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
