it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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