This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
