His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
