So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
