Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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