Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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