god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
