sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
