and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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