U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I fill condoms, not promises.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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