the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
