Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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