y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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