yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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