areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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