wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
