I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
