No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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