I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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