i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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