I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
