Your dad touched me again.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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