Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
