Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
