i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
