Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
4 words: hood of his car
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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