his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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