Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
