The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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