I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
