i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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