that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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