Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
