I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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