your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
