She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my shit smells like andre
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
