I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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