she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
