After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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