Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
